Everyday be a New Wife

Bismillaah, wal-hamdulilaah, was-salaatu was-salaamu 'alaa rasoolillaah, As Salaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakatuh


It has been reported on the authority of Abu Hurairah, that the Messeger salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam was asked, "Which of the women is best?" He said,

"The wife that pleases her husband when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and doesn't oppose him in herself or her wealth with that which he dislikes." -Graded Hasan Saheeh by Al-Albaani in Saheeh An-Nasaa'i.,

Likewise, you should be with your husband each and every day, causin his heart to be delighted every time he sees you. The Islaamic Legislation has granted you numerous opportunities to beautify yourself before your husband's arrival. From them:

The Prophet salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam has prohibited a man from entering upon his family, after being absent or coming from a journey, without sending forth news of his arrival. Also, the scholars of Islaam recmmed that a man seeks permission before entering upon his wife by sending forth the Islaamic greeting, clearing his throat, tapping on the door, or clicking his shoes.

Al-Imaam Ahmad (rahimahullaah) said: "Iti recommended that a man clicks his shoes before entering a place even if it is his own home."

He also said: (May Allah have mercy upon him), "that if a man enters upon his family he should make his presence known by clearing his throat."

Muhannaa said: "I asked Ahmad (rahimahullaah) about a man that enters his own home, should he seek permission from his family, meaning his wife? He resonded by saying: 'I see nothing wrong with it, if he were to seek permission it doesn't harm him.' I said, 'He sees his wife all the time.' So he was silent."

So Al-Imaam Ahmad (rahimahullaah) recommended that a man clears his throat, or tap his shoes, in order to avoid seeing his wife in a state that displeases the husband and offends the wife. -See Ghida Al-Adab fee Sharh Manthumatu Al-Adaab (1/479)

All of this is in order fo love to remain between the spouses, and that your husband does not see you in an unpleasant way, especially when arrving from a journey or during times of intimacy,

It has been said: "If a woman is beautiful physically and in her character, with lustrous eyes and hair, a glowing complexion, affectionate to her husband, chaste, restraining her glance, desiring no one but her husband; then she will resemble the women of paradise, (Al-Hur Al-Ay'n). Verily Allah, the Most High, has described the women of paradise with this description, saying:

"Therein (gardens) will be fair (wives) good and beautiful." Suratur Rahman:70

That which isin tended by (fair (wives) and good), is that they are well-mannered. Also, Allah says:

".,,,restraining their glances upon their husbands...." Suratur Rahman:56

In another verse, Allah says:"Loving (their husbands only), equal in age." Suratul Waqiah:37

That which is intended by loving (their husbands only): Is that the wife yearns for her husband, and wishes for his intimacy, whichi fulfills their desires. As for Al-Hawara, this refers to the glowing complexion; and Al-Hura refers to the very white and wide eyes, with lustrous hair. -Ihya Uloom Ad-Din (1/392)

People naturally become bored with the worldly life, even if they were in a state of happiness; and this boredom only comes from the absence of renewal and change. So do not allow your husband's heart to become bored with you by always having the same look, wearing the same clothing, or cooking the same food. Rather be versatile according to your ability.

If you see him pleased with a particular outfit, meal, or behavior, don't bore him with these things by being monotonous in carrying them out. Rather, wear the outfit that he like and cook his favorite meal once in a while, but not all the time; perhaps in the future you won't know what else to do to gain his pleasure. This draws him closer to you, making his heart actively love you.

It is a bad habit for a woman to notice that her husband likes a particular outfit that she wears, so she wears it night and day until he dislikes it. Or, for example, she notices a particular food he favors, so she prepares it for him on every occasion until it's no longer his favorite meal. Or, maybe, she sees that he likes a particular behavior of hers, so she repeatys it constantly, until he dislikes her because of it.

Rather, it is intelligent for the wife to store those things that her husband is fond of, doing them once in awhile, making her husand happy when she presents them in front of him, and causing him to yearn for them in their absence.

To rejuvenate for your husband with the simple things is much more preferable than to over-burden yourself by buying exensive items. For indeed some women, due to their corrupt intellect think that rejuvenation is to purchase clothing all the time, until the point where the closets overflow. Some women even think that rejuvenation is to throw away furniture and buy new furniture more than once in a year with the claim of remodeling the house, while other women extravagantly buy food and drink.

Indeed all of this is wastefulness and leads to earning the displeasure of Ar-Rahmaan, the Most Merciful, before the displeasure of your husband.

Realize, oh sister, the Moon is the same each month; however, it still rejuvenates its appearance after having been absent. It continues to grasp the amazement of onlookers and is always being used as a metaphor. So be like the Moon.

Taken from 20 Pieces of Advice to my sister before he marriage by the Noble Scholar Badr bin Ali Al-Utaybee.